Be intentional about all things God

Your relationship with God shouldn't be accidental. If we seek to have a purposed life, then we need to be purposeful in what we pursue and how we pursue Christ.

Don't let the enemy steal the time that should be devoted to your father in heaven.

Watch my latest YouTube video. I pray you're encouraged!


All my love,
Obioma

How to read the bible

The foundation of Christianity is the word of God.
If anyone is preaching to you from anything other than the bible and claims to be a Christ follower, run, fast and far.

The problem with the modern believer is that we don't know the weapons of our warfare. We claim to love God, we may even attend church faithfully, but ask us about a verse and we're clueless about where it is in the bible. I'm not speaking of legalism that mandates that you know every verse and every bible story. I'm speaking on pure willful ignorance to the written word of God. Ignorance that is either attributed to laziness, or a lack of discipline. We as Believers can no longer afford to chose ignorance when it comes to the things of God.

For perspective, think about how long it would take you to find the book of Nahum in the bible.
Did you even know the book of Nahum is in the bible?
Is it in new testament or old testament?

I don't write this in a demeaning way, nor in an effort to condemn. I write in love to convict and to stir a passion inside you.

We can not claim to love the God of the word, and not know the word of God.

Lazy Christianity relies on the pastor to teach you the bible.

BUT God also endows each and every believer with the ability to read his word independently and gain understanding.
When you stand before Christ, he will not accept your excuse that 'your pastor said this' and 'your mother said this' as reasons why you failed to learn and apply his precepts.

While God sends help to teach us about his ways, the ultimate responsibility to understand is ours alone. Scripture is clear  in 2 Timothy 2:15 when it says " Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth."
We as believers are commissioned to know the word of God for ourselves so that we can easily and quickly determine when truth is being spoken.

I do believe that the reason many Christians lack  knowledge about God's word because they fail to open it.
I read a quote on instagram that said "Don't complain that God isn't answering your prayers when your bible remains closed." I had to do a praise dance after that. God's word is so full of spiritual and practical guidance and it is under utilized.We complain so much about our lives, we plead our trials and tribulations, but never open the word.
We as a generation can no longer afford to be anything but sold out for the things of God and the foundation of God is his word.

The word of God is how we learn ourselves and most importantly how we learn our God.

Practically, I know reading the bible can be daunting.
Some believe the bible is entirely 'thees' and 'thous'.
Others don't know where to start or how to start.
Some people struggle to figure out where the application comes in.

To sit here and pretend that in the span of a simple blog post I can teach you how to read the bible in entirety is belittling the greatness of the God's word.
Individuals spend their whole lives learning the bible, and a simple blog post could never do it justice.

What I do want to do is offer practical tips to start you on your own bible adventure. The word is clear that our spiritual battles are fought with the word, and that means as a believer we have to know God's word  in order to be armed for battle. Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God . Ephesians 6:16,17 

To start:

 1: Pray for the Holy spirit to grant you revelation.
This is simply entreating the Lord for insight about his word as you read it.

2: Get a bible in a version that you can understand.
I am not a fan of the 'Message bible' I believe it contains significant inaccuracies. Please do your own research though. My recommendations for versions include: New Living Translation and New International Version, King James is always an awesome original.

 3: Know your basics. The bible is split into two testaments. 'Old testament and new testament'. There are 66 books. Each book has several chapters and each chapter has several verses.

 4:If you're first time bible reader, my suggestion is to begin with the book of John located in the new testament. I believe as you read, the spirit of God will make the word come alive to you.

Step 5: Create a concrete plan and follow it. Websites like Biblegateway.com offer devotional plans for reading the bible.

As you're reading the word, keep in mind the context of the text. Think: who, what where and why?. Bible concordances are great tools for studying scripture, and never hesitate to look up the meaning of unfamiliar terms or phrases.

Your bible should always be your first resource for the things of God. I hope you read this feeling enabled and impassioned to open your 'Sword'. I pray the Lord leads you through scripture and teaches you as only he can. Most importantly I pray that as you learn the word of God your spirit is strengthened to live out God's good and perfect will.

All my love,

Obioma

Fasting 101

I remember hearing about 'fasting' as a little girl. My family church annually held a corporate fast, where the whole church would give up certain foods or certain activities for a period of time.

My mom would try to get me to fast, but I always shrugged her off, mainly because I had no spiritual awareness of the significance of fasting.
I would often say things like "What's the point of not eating..."
"How can that really do anything"
It seemed pointless to deny myself delicious food for any period of time...for what? I couldn't see the necessity of such an act, and food tasted way too good to just stop eating.

It wasn't until I matured spiritually that I began to practice the discipline of fasting.
After rededicating my life to Christ, I would read my word,  pray, but there was something missing. It felt like there were certain hurdles I just couldn't overcome. It seemed like the more I pressed into God, the greater the yearning for more became.

That's when I stumbled upon the verse in Matthew 17:20-21
In this chapter, Jesus encounters a man who has a son that is possessed and suffers from demonic seizures. Jesus casts out the demons and the disciples ask why they are not able to do the same.

Jesus's reply is simple: because the disciples lack faith.
But what caught my attention, wasn't the Lord's declaration of the problem, but His solution to it.

Jesus then goes on to tell the disciples that the type of faith needed to cast out demons  is as small as a mustard seed, but that this type of faith can only built by prayer and fasting.

That's when the light-bulb went off in my head. I always thought fasting was something that was optional in scripture, not mandatory. But the bible is clear when it says 'When' you fast, not 'If' you fast.Matthew 6:16

I believe the hangup  associated with fasting for some believers come from some basic questions:

What is fasting?

What is the purpose of fasting?/What does fasting do?

How do I fast?

What is fasting/ a fast?  

Fasting is a spiritual discipline. Fasting is abstaining from all food, or certain types of food for a predetermined period of time. The period of a fast also includes abstaining from specific activities as well. (In this era, it can be social media, watching and listening to certain music/movies/T.v. shows, etc). The activities include anything that does not ultimately glorify God.

A fast can vary in duration from: 1 day to 40 days
A fast can vary in type .
A fast can consist of giving up all food for a period of time, or giving up just meats and animal products.

Fasting can be an individual discipline, or a corporate discipline (done in a group or a church).


What is the purpose of fasting?/What does fasting do?



A fast IS NOT a diet.
Fasting IS NOT about weight loss . Fasting IS NOT about changing the look of your natural body.
Fasting IS NOT a ritual, or something done just because.
Fasting IS NOT to show mock repentance, or to show how holy you are.

Fasting IS about building up the spiritual man.
Fasting IS a process of consecration, a discipline to build holiness.

A Fast IS a means to move the hand of God. 2. Samuel 2:21; Esther 4:16
A Fast IS a way to seek the guidance of God. The book of Daniel
A Fast IS a method to activate anointing. Matthew 4

There are times in our walk where we need God to intervene or do a work on our behalf. It can be a dire situation where we need God to do the impossible. It can be for favor in school, at our job, with our families. Sometimes we deal with demonic afflictions that require God's hand to guarantee victory. God delights in intervening for our sake, but it's not just a matter of praying, it's a matter of submitting our spirit to the will of God.
When you fast, you humble your spirit man and yield to the perfect will of God. By abstaining from food and ungodly influence while praying, we tell and show God that our desire for His will is greater than our desire to satisfy basic human needs.

Fasting puts God at the correct position as priority number 1 in our lives.
After Jesus fasted for 40 days and nights, the enemy tries to tempt him and Christ responds ''Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds. out of the mouth of God."Matthew 4:4
When we fast, we become the living embodiment of Matthew 4:4. We show God that he is our sustain-er, not food, not water, but His Holy spirit.

How do I fast?

The hardest part of any fast is starting. The question always begs 'Where do I start?' 'How do I start?'
My first suggestion is to consult the Holy spirit, He will lead you and guide you on what kind of fast you should do and for how long.

Practically, if you've never fasted before, my suggestion: don't jump into a 40 day fast. Unless of course the Spirit has compelled you, then by all means.
Start with a shorter fast, a one day fast perhaps or a three day fast.
Start by partially fasting some foods and gradually build yourself up.

Fasting  should always be accompanied by prayer.
Talk to God before you begin your fast, humble yourself before Him and make your petitions plain. 
As you fast, know that the point of a fast is to discipline your spirit.
This means that you're not just taking away from your flesh, you're also feeding your spirit.
You feed your spirit by reading the bible, praying, and guarding your heart.
This means that you're not listening to secular music, watching movies that don't glorify God or participating in conversations that don't edify your spirit.
It means you're intentional about every aspect of your life.

If you're seeking a breakthrough in your physical life or your spiritual life, my first suggestion is always prayer and fasting.

I trust the Lord will lead you and guide you as He places the necessity of fasting on your heart.
I encourage you to do your own research and to seek the wisdom of Godly council (on and off the internet).
 Happy fasting ya'll :)

All my love,
Obioma







 

To wear or not to wear, that is the question

New York trip, 2016. Long cardigan for literally

 $10

As a woman, society places such an importance on our clothing choices. Honestly it's just not society, it's most religions, it's governing bodies...other people. Clothing defines so much of  not just our lives, but how people view us.
Yes, there are plenty of people who don't judge you based on your clothing choices, or how you choose to dress your body. But I truly believe that more people DO judge, than don't.

As much as we like to deny it, clothing is often the outward distinction of various aspects of social hierarchy. Clothing also serves as an external representation of internal perception.

That's why we have 'name brand' clothing, and uniforms. We know police officer based off the green or blue attire, we know nurses from their scrubs, doctors from their white coats and so on.

So what does your clothing say about you?

As a fashion connoisseur, I personally love clothing..all types. I love trends and I like to dress stylishly. As a christian woman...it can be downright hard to do so.

I find myself struggling to fit into the 'what a good christian girl should look like' box. I remember sitting in bible study and saying "I never want to be one of those christian girls"

What are 'those christian girls' ?
Well, you know...the ones that wear leggings under dresses that reach past their knees, the ones that put scarves over everything.
The ones that think showing your skin is a stamp of hell.
I just didn't want to be one of those women who fit the contemporary cookie cutter christian fashion. 
You know....the long jeans, long shirt, long cardigan...long everything.

And it's not because I  think their fashion is ugly, but it isn't my personal style.

If I had to categorize myself, I would definitely say I am more on the bohemian, edgy side of fashion.

So I struggled.
I love clothes, I love trends...I didn't think showing my skin was a stamp of hell.

So the question remained, what were my boundaries when it came to my clothing choices?

Fortunately, as I grew in my faith, so did conviction about my fashion choices.
As woman, the word charges us to be modest.

1 Timothy 2:9 I also want the women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves, not with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes,

The verse does not mean that God doesn't want you to look nice, or dress your hair and wear jewelry (unfortunately, many believers interpret this as so.)
An adornment is something that adds attractiveness. Therefore the word is charging women to allow their modesty, decency and propriety to be what makes them attractive, not their clothing or accessory choices. 

The bible also makes it clear that women were created as the fairer sex, and that men ultimately enjoy our physical appearance, so it is up to us to make sure the way we clothe ourselves is not a point of lust for our brothers in Christ. 

Yes, society says everyone is responsible for themselves, and to an extent.. this is true. Ultimately I refuse to be an intentional stumbling block for another believer especially with something as crippling as sin.

So what does that mean in terms of my appearance, do I fall into legalism and cover my body from head to toe? No. I don't believe the holy spirit has not led me to do this. 

I rarely wear graphic shirts, but they can spice up an outfit

The deeper I walk with Christ, the more I desire to reserve my body for the Lord's eye and for my future husbands eyes.

To be perfectly clear: I still wear shorts, I still wear tank tops, I still wear dresses that stop before my knees.

What's different? my heart. the length of my clothing, the style of my clothing.

There's certain clothing I don't buy, not because as a woman, I don't think it's cute...
But because for my body, it's too revealing,
because it conveys an image I don't want associated with my person.

A nice loose fitting dress, on trend (jean material)

So, to wear or not to wear that is the question.

Some spiritual and practical ways to answer this question are:

Are you questioning the outfit even before you leave the house? 
That's clue #1 that you may be wearing something that is inappropriate for your body.
Do you feel uncomfortable in the clothes: Are the clothes too tight, too short? too loose?
That's clue #2 that it may not be the outfit for you
What if it's a perfectly acceptable outfit, but something in your spirit, says..nope, not for you.
That's clue #3 that that outfit may not be for you.

Always remember:
1. Let the Holy spirit lead your attire. When he convicts you, listen.
2. The occasion helps with the dress (are you at the beach, at home, on a date?)
3. Dress for your body, your curves, your size. (as a woman with thicker thighs, my shorts ride up, and look shorter than a woman with smaller thighs. I have to keep that in mind when buying things like shorts)
4.Be creative, modest doesn't have to look a certain way. I'm a huge fan of kimonos, long cardigans, maxi dresses and skirts
5. Your heart will determine your outfit.  Believe it or not, if you're truly trying to look fashionable, it will be conveyed in the clothing you chose. if you're trying to appear sexy, seductive, etc....that shows too. So chose wisely.
6. Don't underestimate the power of a well fitting, well covered clothing

This dress can be on the shorter side, the looser fit makes it okay in my eyes

I've included random pictures from my life to illustrate some fashion choices. Honestly, just because i wear it it doesn't mean you can or should...and just because you can wear something, it does not mean I can or should.

Again, I still wear dresses and shorts. I just make it a point to listen to God when he tells me that's too sexy Obioma, that's too short. And yes, of course I fall short, but each day I get a little better.

Do ya'll have any modest apparel must haves? My favorite is the kimono, it adds instant style and it provides great coverage.

I struggled with wearing the romper by itself, tbh..it was too short, but paired with a kimono, it was perfect for the hot day.

What's yours?

All my love,
Obioma

The unexpected blessings in life

This is more a diary entry than a blog post, but hey, that's the beauty of having your own platform to share and express yourself...you write whatever you want.

This past weekend, I went to New York to visit my father. To be completely honest, I pretty much dreaded the trip for various reasons. My father and I were very close as a child, I was most definitely a daddy's girl. As I've grown up our relationship has changed.

Now I don't call him as often as I used to, and we can go months without speaking. I hold no ill will towards my dad, but things just aren't the same. I look at other women who have a close relationship with the father figures in their life, and a twinge of envy sometimes stabs at me.I've gotten better at understanding this emotion, and working it out with Jesus.

So basically up until the trip, I dreaded it. I didn't necessarily want to face the one on one conversations. I just knew that I knew that it would be incessant talk pressuring me to pursue medical school.

Ultimately, the whole experience was nothing like I  expected. A lot of my weekend I spent exploring the inside of my mind, learning new things about myself, and the other half I spent really seeing a different side of my father. I think at certain stage in your parents life, there's such a strong urge to impart. I learned things about my daddy I never knew. I saw myself in him, and I gained perspective on his struggles. We talked about God, we talked about success, we talked about love...it was so strange, and so out of my comfort zone. I believe I will always treasure this weekend in retrospect. I visibly felt and saw my father's love for me for the first time in years. As a woman....it was really nice.

Ultimately the experience was cathartic, an honestly unexpected blessing. I hope ya'll had a blessed labor day weekend and enjoyed valuable time with your loved ones.

All my love,
Obioma

live at the Apollo. Shout out to my camera man: Daddy

Fighting Fear with Faith

The most persistent test that any believer will endure is the test of Faith.
Sure, you've declared your allegiance to Jesus Christ as your lord and personal savior.
And sure you've committed %1000 percent to truth that only Jesus is God, and God is supreme.

But have you really?

Everyday as a believer you will have to walk by faith. The bible plainly states: For we walk by faith, not by sight.(2 cor. 5:7)

And I'm sure you've heard that verse in more than one sermon if you're a church attender.
But do you actually understand what it means?

Faith asks the question..do you trust and believe that God is who he says he is? Do you trust and believe that God will do what he says he'll do?

Ultimately faith asks the question: is God a liar, YES or NO. If you say NO, then PROVE IT.

How do you prove it? By simply believing and staying steadfast.
That means that when things aren't looking like what God said they would, you still believe.
That means that when life is hitting you like a ton of bricks, you still believe.
That means when everyone else in your life is telling you that the reality of the situation, but God's word says something different... you. still. believe.

Faith is the hardest test you'll battle as a believer, because this human world is not your own. Because this world is not your permanent dwelling...you can never conform. Because you can never fit in, you will always stand out.

Life tells us that standing out leaves room for the naysayers, the critics and the 'haters'.

So that means your faith will always be tested.

As I walk out my salvation, God in his goodness continues to reveal the purpose of  life to me. Only if we endure in faith will  we be able to stand in the ultimate glory of Christ when we finally are face to face.

It's easy to believe in a perfect, holy, good and righteous God when life is blissful.
It's easy to believe when you have stellar grades, your parents are still together, your car is in excellent condition.
It's easy to believe in a perfect, holy, good and righteous God when your health is in order and your bank account is flourishing.

Why?

You're walking in the tangiable blessings of God, it's something you can touch and feel.

But why is it that when things go wrong, we as believers waiver in our faith?
Does God cease to be the perfect, holy, good and righteous God of yesterday?

No. The word says that Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever God. (Hebrews 13:8) That means that He never changes. So why do we stop believing?

It's fear. The enemy knows that if he can send obstacles into our lives, if he can shake us from our steadfast trust in the Lord, then our salvation is gone and the fiery reality of damnation awaits.

It's not an accident that the greatest tests in life seem to be the ones that hinder your divinely ordained purpose.

Think about it.
What are the personal promises of God in your life?
Now where do you struggle the most?

I know that there's a holy calling on my life, but honestly for so long, I fought.
I would tell myself: "Lord, I'm not good enough to teach people about you".

Lord, I've done so much evil...I do so much evil. Father, why would you use the girl who used to dress this way, think this way, act this way?

I fought my calling long before I knew it by wholeheartedly running to the World. I did this because I knew I wasn't qualified for the life that God truly intended for me, and what did the enemy do? He used my fear to bind me.

Fear was the gateway and sin the destination.

Thank God for his steadfast love. I will never be qualified, and that's why I need salvation. I had to really know God to know that truth.

If you struggle with trusting God, rest assured that his word says that even when you are faithless, He is faithful(2 Tim. 2:13). The truth of who God is has nothing to do with us humans. He still remains true to himself even when we doubt.

If you struggle with faith, turn to God. He has given you a measure of faith (Romans 12:3). That means you have the ability to believe if only you'll turn to the one in whom you believe.

I know life is hard, and I know sometimes it just seems to get harder. But be encourage you to really trust God. Even when you don't feel like it...or want to, trust God.

Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God (Romans 10:17).
The first step starts with you knowing what God is saying through his word. It's time to stop letting other people tell you what God has in store for you, walk boldly in the authority of your salvation.

With God in control, your life is good. Trust God, he is trustworthy.


All my love,
Obioma

What is a Rare Flower

Hey everyone,

 I finally uploaded the video explaining what a rare flower is, and why you are one. Check it out!

All my love,

-Obioma

A desenitisized Christian is a weak Christian

In awe at the power of God. Trinidad Missions June 2016

As I was praying today, I came to a divine revelation: because I am a child of God, the authority and power of God rest with me. That means that I have the liberty to tell the powers of hell what to do and they are obligated to listen to me.

Luke 10:19 Behold, I have given you authority to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall hurt you. 

Too deep?

Let me pause and rewind.

For the last several months, I felt under spiritual attack. I felt like the enemy was finding opportunities to shoot a hole in every plan I had. I desired God, but I didn't desire Him like I used to. 

I just felt demoralized, like I'd lost my desire for godly living. Because I knew the truth...I couldn't just walk away from God. So like any believer, I wrestled instead.

This time the struggle was different, it was reoccurring...it seemed like every other day, the feelings would comeback. I wasn't exactly depressed, more hopeless. 

 I doubted life, my purpose, my calling, and God. I would say the feeling felt worst than any depression.

I tried light fasting(3-10 days). It would feel like a temporary fix, but ultimately, the feelings would creep back up.

Fast forward to June, I began a Daniel's fast and made the commitment to pray and abstain from eating animal products and sugars in order to overcome whatever was trying to overcome me.

[Here's a pretty comprehensive website on what the daniel's fast and the purpose of such a fast: http://daniel-fast.com]

Matthew 17:21 speaks about the reality that some demons can only be overcome through prayer and fasting. If you're a Christian, fasting is not optional for your life, it's biblical and it will be necessary to persevere.

I say all this to say as Christians, especially in the west, we lack the knowledge of what spiritual warfare is and what it looks like.

Ultimately, we lack the knowledge that the world is founded in the spiritual realm. Before there was  a physical world, the spiritual one existed and still exists.

 

If the enemy can rob you of the understanding that you have authority to move things in the physical through your authority in the spiritual...then he has created a weak Christian. A weak Christian is an ineffective Christian.

With modernization  the West has become dependent on the physical world for every answer. I'm not discrediting doctors or professionals who help alleviate real problems. What I'm saying is this: nothing is a substitute for prayer.

The enemy has created weak Christians who have no awareness of the spiritual realm. These believers have a spiritual encounter with Jesus, accept salvation, and then rely on their physical self to get them out of the mess they've made of their lives.

God wants so much for us than that. Numerous time in scripture, the Word calls believers overcomers, because our purpose on this earth is not to merely be saved, but to overcome. In order to overcome, we must walk in the spiritual authority that God has given us. 

But how can we walk in authority in a realm that we don't acknowledge exists?

I get weak at heart when I see professing believers who listen to the music of this world, entertain the shows of this world, indulge in the conversations of this world. I get weak because I know that it ruins their credibility in the spirit realm...it weakens their prayer life and it renders their declarations against the enemy null.

It's time as believers that we truly have an understanding of what is required in this life of faith. Stop desensitizing yourself to the spiritual things of this world.
Stop pretending that your issues are not rooted in the sin that plagues you or your family.

Walk in the authority that Christ has given you and overcome victoriously.

Rise up weak Christian and fight back.

2Corinthans 10:3-6

 For though we walk in the world, we do not fight according to this world’s rules of warfare. ⁴ The weapons of the war we’re fighting are not of this world but are powered by God and effective at tearing down the strongholds erected against His truth. ⁵ We are demolishing arguments and ideas, every high-and-mighty philosophy that pits itself against the knowledge of the one true God. We are taking prisoners of every thought, every emotion, and subduing them into obedience to the Anointed One. ⁶ As soon as you choose obedience, we stand ready to punish every act of disobedience.

Sharing my testimony on a recent trip to Trinidad

 

 

All my love,

Obioma

 

Details to come...

#TheRareFlower

23 Things I've learned since turning 23

Honestly ya'll, it seems like adulthood is smacking me upside my head. I'm looking back at my life and saying things like 'when did I get this old.'
 When I was 21 and the phrase "ugh, I'm old" came out of my mouth People would look at me crazy and vehemently disagree.
Now...they don't.
They just sort of nod in sad agreement.
But this isn't a pity party, I'm embracing my age and ultimately I'm embracing the life lessons I'm learning even in this tender season.
I wanted to do a fun post, but also 'serious' in the sense that these really are things that I've learned and am learning.

So without further ado...below are 23 things I've learned in my 23 years of life.

1. Forgive easily, forget quickly
I know the old saying is 'forgive, but never forget' But Lordy, Jesus knows what He's been through with me. I can't even remember all the times I've hurt God, and ran back, and time and time again..He has forgiven me. I try now to extend the same grace to others because I know there may be a time where I need it too.

2. Travel...a lot
Expand your horizons, see new things, places and people. I'll link two awesome articles below on traveling on a budget/while young. You may not always have this opportunity.
Traveling for millennials
Heather's travel tips

3.Take a ton of pictures
Not just for instagram..or facebook or on snapchat, but in life. You'll be 80 one day and your memory may need the extra boost. Honestly sometimes in the moment I might not appreciate things as much, but weeks later...I'll scroll through my pictures and smile.

4.Guard your heart, fiercely
Stop sleeping with everybody..or anybody. Stop giving out your number to random men or women. BE CHOOSY and selective with whom you share your heart with. Not every man or woman(for the guys) that slides in your DMs needs to have your number. So choose wisely.

5. Praying is the plug
I'm not talking about praying over the food you're about to eat...or on Sunday during service..I'm talking about interceding on your family's behalf. I'm talking about laying out before God instead of talking to man about your problems...I'm talking about literally conversing with your creator about the small things and the big things.

6.Cherish the moments you spend with family (especially your parents)
Death is inevitable..and one day these people won't be on earth anymore. Find out your family history, dig into your roots...figure out why you are the way you are. Then pray about it.

7.Death happens, to all of us
Someone can be here today, and gone tomorrow. A relationship with Jesus is the only guarantee to eternal life.

8.Get things right the first time.
Stop going around the same mountain over and over again. If God told you to do something...obey, quickly. Nothing screams regret like 40 years of the wilderness because you lacked faith the first time. (Think the children of Israel)

9.Be grateful...for everything
Ultimately, you don't deserve anything that is given to you. Someone had to make a way so that you could have everything you have. A grateful heart makes life worth living, don't live under entitlement because it can truly be here today and gone tomorrow. Thank those around you for all they do.

10. Be kind, even when it's hard and you don't want to.
That means be kind to those that are rude to you, the ones that talk about you, those that hate you. Why? Because your behavior is a manifestation of your character and nothing else. So love those that hate you. I know we may joke about things like #shade or #teampetty, but...ultimately, I want God to look at my heart and say 'Wow, that's a woman after me'

11.Try new things all the time
Be adventurous, how can you discover if you like something...if you've never tried it?

12.Do what God is calling you to do, not what man has told you to do.
This one is the most difficult for me, but don't be seduced by the security of the world. What God has called you to do, He will equip you to accomplish and He will justify you until completion. Trust God...not your emotions nor circumstances.

13.Read, everything.
Read Fiction, nonfiction, biographies. Increase your intellect and expand your knowledge. I hope it goes without saying but: don't read anything that will corrupt your mind or that is contrary to the word of God, use the Holy Spirit for conviction.

14. Trust God
He.Is.Always.Right

15.Your friends will change
Some people are in your life for a season and a reason. Some people are there forever. Appreciate them for that, and know that it's okay

16. One day it will be your turn
You will graduate. You will get married. You will be the one with the announcement for a child. Remember there's a season for everyone

17. It can happen to you.
Be careful about the judgments and the condemnation you throw on others. Good and bad things happen to the just and the unjust alike. Those things you say will never happen to you, can...and may.

18. Share your testimony. Often.
You don't know who needs to know that you're a mess too and God saved you. You don't know whose life you're impacting by simply speaking your truth.

19. Hold steadfast to your foundation
It's okay to know what right and wrong is. Do not conform to this world and bend to every change of the wind. Know what you believe and stand on it.

20.Wise Counsel is not a substitute for God.
I know your mama, pastor and em' usually know exactly what you should do...but God knows more. If you have a relationship with Christ, listen to his voice before any other.

21.Just because it looks fun...doesn't mean it is.
Don't let the snapchats and the wild pictures fool you. Being drunk, wild party, drugs...they're void fillers. They may look fun for the moment, but I promise you the emptiness will and does return. Chose Christ, no matter how hard.

22. Tomorrow is a new day
No matter how bad today looks or feels...Know it will get better, there is a rainbow on the otherside of the storm.

23. Trust God

Trust Him. Trust Him. In everything, for everything.

All my love,
Obioma

Looks for a wedding!

Adulting with my mama :)

23 and blessed; Birthday fun and how to vacation on the low!

I remember starting this blog just a little more than a year ago. I started writing before my 22nd birthday. I felt so close to God and yearned to share all that He revealed to me about His glory

A specific memory flashes through my mind as I look back on the previous season in my life. As I sat on the floor at my parents house in the days leading up to my 22nd birthday. I cried out to God for assurance that this 'christian' thing would get better and that it wouldn't always feel so weary. He responded with Haggai 2:9 The glory of this present house will be greater than the glory of the former house,' says the LORD Almighty. 'And in this place I will grant peace,' declares the LORD Almighty."

A full year later, I stand as testimony that God is truly faithful, that he does exceedingly above and beyond all He promises to do. My 23rd birthday was by far one of the best that I can remember. I didn't do anything exceptional, but I felt so loved and appreciated and cherished by those around me. That was really all I could have asked for.

God was in the details through and through. I mentioned that I wanted an ihome, flippantly in conversation with God, I received that unexpectedly. I was supposed to get a pedicure, and never did--someone else blessed me with that. I wanted to vacation and take pictures and eat great food (silly, I know!) But I did that too.
It literally seemed like on March 13th 2016, God opened heaven and rained blessings all day. I sat in the car with my two dear friends and just cried because my heart was so full and I loved them so much...and God is so faithful, the only emotion I could really profess was joy accompanied with tears.

I don't have it all together, but I'm excited to see the glory of God this upcoming year and I know He will only continue to exceed my expectations.
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Since I have so many vacation pictures, I'll cycle through them and explain how to get a cost effective vacation and relax on a budget!

This year, one of my goals has been to travel (in and out of the country). I've been pretty successful thus far, and wanted to continue the crescendo with a trip to celebrate my birthday.
I presented the idea to two of my good friends and they were down!

One of the best ways to save money on a trip is to plan with friends!
I decided that I wanted to drive wherever we went because:

1.  It's cheaper and gas is less than $2.00
2. The drive can always serve as a bonding experience.

I currently live in Orlando, so I looked at cities that were close by for possible vacation spots.
The best trips (in my humble opinion) usually involve exploring new territory and seeing new sights. I believed that people think that in order to vacation you need to go across the state or country. Not the case! Sometimes the closest cities have the most to offer especially on a tight budget (i.e college students).

I settled on Melbourne Fl, because it was about an hour away and Cocoa beach was only 30 minutes from Melbourne.

Lodging, besides transportation is usually the most expensive part of any trip. After reading Heather Lindsey's blog on cost effective traveling (check it out Heatherllindsey.com) I chose to book my lodging with Airbnb.com.

• Airbnb is a website where you can book people's homes, apartments, condos or private room's for a cheaper rate than what a hotel would typically cost.
• If you use the link in this blog, you receive a $20 travel voucher applicable towards your next booking) Check it out!

I ended up booking a one bedroom apartment unit for 3 days, 2 nights for $169(after my $20 discount). The owner confirmed all the details of our stay with me via text and email before our arrival. The key was left the key in a keybox (so we never saw him.) The apartment was super simple, but lovely and very clean. We had free internet, he provided towels and toiletries bedding etc. The neighborhood was great as well.

You can see some of the apartment behind us. This is Kesi, Gabby and I before dinner at Otjundu's

The itinerary is always the most overlooked part of any vacation. I'll admit I'm not the world's expert on planning nor organization. BUT I knew how I wanted to spend my time in Melbourne/cocoa. A fun vacation starts with a goal. Yes you're on vacation to relax, but you don't have to spend money to sleep all day in another bed. I knew I wanted the vacation to consist of eating great food and exploring the city/beach so I focused on those two things when deciding what to do with the short short weekend.

I started off by researching all the local eateries in Melbourne and Cocoa Beach. Yelp.com is great for this, the reviews can actually be very helpful.

Friday consisted of: Getting dressed for dinner and eating at Otjundu's in Melbourne.
The restaurant featured South African cuisine and German food. I got lamb, my friends ordered steak and fried pork respectively. All of our bills were under $25.00 including drinks. We sat outside and they have a beautiful garden area.

Rack of lamb, yum!

We also explored downtown historic Melbourne. Sometimes walking around is fun--we didn't go into any of the establishments, but did catch the tail end of a saint Patrick's day parade.

Watching the Parade!

We also went to Melbourne beach that night and took loads of pictures. It was such a fun experience.

Melbourne beach at night, being silly with Kesi

On the way to the beach!

Saturday: Saturday was beach day. First we had breakfast at a local dinner. I always recommend dinner food because it's usually delicious and moderately priced. I chose Barrier Jack's (researched it on yelp.com) We all spent less than $12.00 and got an assortment of eggs, grits, meat.

The beach was the best part, we spent the day at cocoa beach and relaxed it was just calming. The weather was great too: not too hot and not too cold.

That night, we freshened up and had my official birthday dinner at Gregory's seafood, Steak and Pasta on Cocoa Beach.
The food was fantastic and worth every penny. I got a porter house steak and my tastebuds melted. My friends got the Shrimp Alfredo pasta; that was amazing too.

We rang in my birthday talking and reminiscing on how good God is, and of course dancing :).

Sunday: This was the day we had to check out of our Airbnb apartment, the checkout process was super simple as well. We gathered all of our things and left the key in the keybox where we found it before leaving.

We had breakfast at a restaurant located on Satelite beach. It's called Sun on the beach. It wasn't necessarily my favorite place to eat, but the location was beautiful.

All and all I would say this vacation personally cost me around $300 dollars for the 3 days and 2 nights. That amount includes the full price of lodging. My friends spent less, around $70. If everything was split three ways (and if I didn't spend excessively because it was my birthday weekend) I would say the trip would have probably been around $100 a person.

Moral of the story:  If you want to see the country or even the world, don't let money be a constraint! There's so much to do and see especially in your single season/youth. Don't wait until you feel like it's too late. Get out now! And don't forget to document your experience with lots of pictures, it may seem tedious then, but you'll have vivid images of your memories for years to come.

All my love,
Obioma

confessions of a former thot

Once you put something on the internet, it's very hard to drag it back and bury it. But there's such a freedom and liberation in Christ that allows you to share more than you ever thought you could for his glory.

I would be lying if I said the thought of who would read this, and what they would think about me didn't run screaming across my mind several times.But I also know that God didn't deliver me from my sexual immorality so I could keep my mouth closed.

No, I'm not going to share all the salacious details of my sexual deviance. This is not a Karrine Steffan's tell all, but a transparent post about my short comings and the goodness of God.

I remember being 14 and vehemently telling my bestie (Doyin) that I planned on being a virgin until I got married. I heard it in church all the time. I knew that to be a good christian girl I was supposed to be keep my legs closed until some man ran up like a knight in shinning armor and offered me a ring. Then this man and I would live happily ever after and enjoy wedded blissful sex. (or so I'd imagined)

My mother and I never spoke about sex. She was a foreign woman on American soil. Sex wasn't readily discussed in the Nigerian household. Most of our conversation consisted of one distinct memory in which another parent told my mother they had witnessed me sitting on a boy's lap. My mom then sharply informed me that sex was for marriage, and the only pleasure should come from my husband.

So I did what any other normal teenage girl does when sex is taboo in her home, I turned to the fledgling internet. I rediscovered pornography (the first time was at the age of 7 when I stumbled upon a playboy magazine at our apartment complex, I believe the enemy used that to introduce seeds into my life). I sought sexual advice from friends who hardly knew better and T.V. shows that glamorized fornication.
At 14, I went from the nerdy, book loving girl to a blossoming woman who needed affirmation from the opposite sex to feel whole.

Needless to say, while my head said abstain..and the ring on my finger said abstain, my heart said nahhh. At 14, I became sexually active. I gave men and boys alike pieces of myself without going all the way...until of course I went all the way with one.

The lord tired to put a stop to my sexual dalliances when my mother discovered what I was up to behind her back, but ultimately, the lesson didn't stick.

By the time I graduated highschool, I'd had various sexual partners. I felt ashamed and empowered at the same time. I felt empowered because I had something that men so desperately craved and I used it to manipulate them to get what I wanted.
 I felt ashamed because the deep conviction implanted in me by the holy spirit never let up.
The consequences to my lack of standards: pregnancy scares, stds scares, you know all the things associated with sex (especially premarital sex).
College was an even wider playing field of available men, I slowed down some. I became more selective with my sexual partners because I didn't want to get a reputation. I didn't want my promiscuity to be exposed to the world.(That's the thing about sin, it always wants to stay hidden)

I know the world is preaching a message that freedom comes casual sex, but that's a bold faced lie from the enemy. Sex outside of the beauty of marriage does nothing but drain and contaminate you. There's a void that is deepened when you join yourself intimately with others outside of God's design.

There's a reason the word says: 'Flee immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body.' 1corinthians 6-18

It came to the point where I felt so empty I couldn't be alone for longer than two or three days. As Heather Lindsey would say 'I kept me a man in my bed.' I kept men in rotation because I used them to sustain myself esteem. I wore less clothes, spoke a certain way, posted certain things on my social media in order to cultivate my following of suitors.

These men didn't care about me, they didn't even know me, they knew the idea of me that I portrayed. All the while I battled loneliness and buried the quiet screams of the holy-spirit with alcohol and marijuana. 

It took getting into my last relationship which ended up being an abusive situation before I truly discovered the true love of God.

Ephesians 5 commands men to love their wives as Christ loves the church. I don't believe it's a coincidence that the holy God commands love for the woman. Women crave love, we need it, all too often we turn to the world to provide it.
We turn to men who don't know the author of love to fill our voids, we turn to people to complete us.
We as women lack standards because we lack knowledge of how precious and valuable we truly are.

I'm tearing up now because I remember how little I truly loved and valued myself all  while thinking that I had it together. I remember the standards that I lacked and how cheaply I sold my worth.

I'm so grateful I discovered the enduring love of God.
 The love of Christ is something you don't have to earn. It's liberating because you finally see yourself as the woman God created you to be. I no longer seek validation from men, my worth is not tied to how appealing I am to anyone. My self-esteem is not contingent upon the outfits I wear. 

It's funny because I used to fear offending the men that pried their way into my inbox, dms, whatever you'd like to call it...now, I don't care. I'm quick to delete or block anyone who doesn't aid in my walk with Christ. I don't reply to 'let's chill' messages.

 I don't entertain men who don't seek to lead me to Christ.

Is it easy?
Nope.
It's extremely hard, especially in this world. 
Temptation is constant, but I combat it with the word of God

¹³ Any temptation you face will be nothing new. But God is faithful, and He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can handle. But He always provides a way of escape so that you will be able to endure and keep moving forward. 

Christ is freedom, and his word is true liberation. Becoming the woman God intended comes with sacrifice, but I promise: it.is.worth.it.

If you struggle with men bondage. I challenge you to be honest with yourself, be truly transparent about the life you're living and question whether or not you can stand before your heavenly father and boldly stand beside your actions.

God heals. Trust me. He loves you regardless of where you've been, who've you been with or what you've done.

Cast your cares and your past on God, for he cares for you and allow the Lord to complete the perfect work he started in you. Step boldly into your future and trust that the Lord you serve is on your side.

Happy 2016

All my love,
Obioma

Kicking off New Years in New Jersey with my bestie. Great times!

o l