To wear or not to wear, that is the question

New York trip, 2016. Long cardigan for literally $10
As a woman, society places such an importance on our clothing choices. Honestly it's just not society, it's most religions, it's governing bodies...other people. Clothing defines so much of  not just our lives, but how people view us.
Yes, there are plenty of people who don't judge you based on your clothing choices, or how you choose to dress your body. But I truly believe that more people DO judge, than don't.

As much as we like to deny it, clothing is often the outward distinction of various aspects of social hierarchy. Clothing also serves as an external representation of internal perception.

That's why we have 'name brand' clothing, and uniforms. We know police officer based off the green or blue attire, we know nurses from their scrubs, doctors from their white coats and so on.

So what does your clothing say about you?

As a fashion connoisseur, I personally love clothing..all types. I love trends and I like to dress stylishly. As a christian can be downright hard to do so.

I find myself struggling to fit into the 'what a good christian girl should look like' box. I remember sitting in bible study and saying "I never want to be one of those christian girls"

What are 'those christian girls' ?
Well, you know...the ones that wear leggings under dresses that reach past their knees, the ones that put scarves over everything.
The ones that think showing your skin is a stamp of hell.
I just didn't want to be one of those women who fit the contemporary cookie cutter christian fashion. 
You know....the long jeans, long shirt, long cardigan...long everything.

And it's not because I  think their fashion is ugly, but it isn't my personal style.

If I had to categorize myself, I would definitely say I am more on the bohemian, edgy side of fashion.

So I struggled.
I love clothes, I love trends...I didn't think showing my skin was a stamp of hell.

So the question remained, what were my boundaries when it came to my clothing choices?

Fortunately, as I grew in my faith, so did conviction about my fashion choices.
As woman, the word charges us to be modest.

1 Timothy 2:9 I also want the women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves, not with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes,

The verse does not mean that God doesn't want you to look nice, or dress your hair and wear jewelry (unfortunately, many believers interpret this as so.)
An adornment is something that adds attractiveness. Therefore the word is charging women to allow their modesty, decency and propriety to be what makes them attractive, not their clothing or accessory choices. 

The bible also makes it clear that women were created as the fairer sex, and that men ultimately enjoy our physical appearance, so it is up to us to make sure the way we clothe ourselves is not a point of lust for our brothers in Christ. 

Yes, society says everyone is responsible for themselves, and to an extent.. this is true. Ultimately I refuse to be an intentional stumbling block for another believer especially with something as crippling as sin.

So what does that mean in terms of my appearance, do I fall into legalism and cover my body from head to toe? No. I don't believe the holy spirit has not led me to do this. 

I rarely wear graphic shirts, but they can spice up an outfit
The deeper I walk with Christ, the more I desire to reserve my body for the Lord's eye and for my future husbands eyes.

To be perfectly clear: I still wear shorts, I still wear tank tops, I still wear dresses that stop before my knees.

What's different? my heart. the length of my clothing, the style of my clothing.

There's certain clothing I don't buy, not because as a woman, I don't think it's cute...
But because for my body, it's too revealing,
because it conveys an image I don't want associated with my person.
A nice loose fitting dress, on trend (jean material)

So, to wear or not to wear that is the question.

Some spiritual and practical ways to answer this question are:

Are you questioning the outfit even before you leave the house? 
That's clue #1 that you may be wearing something that is inappropriate for your body.
Do you feel uncomfortable in the clothes: Are the clothes too tight, too short? too loose?
That's clue #2 that it may not be the outfit for you
What if it's a perfectly acceptable outfit, but something in your spirit, says..nope, not for you.
That's clue #3 that that outfit may not be for you.

Always remember:
1. Let the Holy spirit lead your attire. When he convicts you, listen.
2. The occasion helps with the dress (are you at the beach, at home, on a date?)
3. Dress for your body, your curves, your size. (as a woman with thicker thighs, my shorts ride up, and look shorter than a woman with smaller thighs. I have to keep that in mind when buying things like shorts)
4.Be creative, modest doesn't have to look a certain way. I'm a huge fan of kimonos, long cardigans, maxi dresses and skirts
5. Your heart will determine your outfit.  Believe it or not, if you're truly trying to look fashionable, it will be conveyed in the clothing you chose. if you're trying to appear sexy, seductive, etc....that shows too. So chose wisely.
6. Don't underestimate the power of a well fitting, well covered clothing
This dress can be on the shorter side, the looser fit makes it okay in my eyes

I've included random pictures from my life to illustrate some fashion choices. Honestly, just because i wear it it doesn't mean you can or should...and just because you can wear something, it does not mean I can or should.

Again, I still wear dresses and shorts. I just make it a point to listen to God when he tells me that's too sexy Obioma, that's too short. And yes, of course I fall short, but each day I get a little better.

Do ya'll have any modest apparel must haves? My favorite is the kimono, it adds instant style and it provides great coverage.

I struggled with wearing the romper by itself, was too short, but paired with a kimono, it was perfect for the hot day.

What's yours?

All my love,

The unexpected blessings in life

This is more a diary entry than a blog post, but hey, that's the beauty of having your own platform to share and express write whatever you want.

This past weekend, I went to New York to visit my father. To be completely honest, I pretty much dreaded the trip for various reasons. My father and I were very close as a child, I was most definitely a daddy's girl. As I've grown up our relationship has changed.

Now I don't call him as often as I used to, and we can go months without speaking. I hold no ill will towards my dad, but things just aren't the same. I look at other women who have a close relationship with the father figures in their life, and a twinge of envy sometimes stabs at me.I've gotten better at understanding this emotion, and working it out with Jesus.

So basically up until the trip, I dreaded it. I didn't necessarily want to face the one on one conversations. I just knew that I knew that it would be incessant talk pressuring me to pursue medical school.

Ultimately, the whole experience was nothing like I  expected. A lot of my weekend I spent exploring the inside of my mind, learning new things about myself, and the other half I spent really seeing a different side of my father. I think at certain stage in your parents life, there's such a strong urge to impart. I learned things about my daddy I never knew. I saw myself in him, and I gained perspective on his struggles. We talked about God, we talked about success, we talked about was so strange, and so out of my comfort zone. I believe I will always treasure this weekend in retrospect. I visibly felt and saw my father's love for me for the first time in years. As a was really nice.

Ultimately the experience was cathartic, an honestly unexpected blessing. I hope ya'll had a blessed labor day weekend and enjoyed valuable time with your loved ones.

All my love,
live at the Apollo. Shout out to my camera man: Daddy