Man I wish things could be the way they used to be.

'Man I wish things could be the way they used to be.'

Trying out some blond braids for the big birthday. Hello 22!
This  has been the single statement that has gnawed at my brain. I went back to it continously while rehashing my former life.

I've been living in the memories of my past for quite some time now.
I feel like the Dad who was the star quarterback in highschool and for the last 20 years (more like 4 months in my case) all he's done is focus on his former glory.

My 22nd birthday(March 13th, yay!) is fast approaching and the thoughts that consumed my mind were...."I wish so, and so was here to spend it with me."
 " I wish I was in my old financial situation."
 " I wish I was younger and more carefree."
I struggled so much with this I began to bring it up in my quiet time with God.
I started off thankful, like "Father thank you for reedeming me and taking me out of darkness." but  sooner or later my flesh would murmur "now what..."

I missed being popular, liked, everyone texting me about everything.
I missed the 100 likes on instagram, and the thousands of reblogs on tumblr. (this is me being totally transparent.)

But God in all his loving mercy instead of rebuking me for daring to question the position HE's put me in, reminded me of the promises HE has for my life.
The Lord used Haggai 2:9 to speak directly to my spirit.


The future glory of this Temple will be greater than its past glory, says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies. And in this place I will bring peace. I, the Lord of Heaven’s Armies, have spoken!”

Upon reading the verse, it resonated so deeply with my soul. Yes God took away my earthly wealth, my established friendships, my popularity...but didn't I know that he would restore everything he took away from me for his greater glory? Didn't I know that my past would pale in comparison to my future?

If God has placed you in unfamiliar territory, it's for your edification and for your growth. While I had my popularity,money and friends...I can count on one hand how much time I spent with God. When he stripped me, truly stripped me and I surrounded all to him, I flourished in his presence.

So while you may be questioning what's really going on in your life and wishing that you could live in the past. Ask yourself: Why?
Maybe in some ways your past was fantasitic, but truly examine what it lacked. Why has God placed you in the position that you are in now. What talents, abilities and convictions is he establishing in you?
what has he called you out of?
What has he called you into?
Were you too dependent on your 9-5 to make ends meet, ignoring scripture that says the Lord will supply all your needs? Philippians 4:19

Are you so focused on what you were that it's keeping you from what God is calling you to be?

Yes, I was popular and I had a multitude of friends, fans and associates...but I was a terrible sinner who labeled myself a christian. So while I had received the ability to lead and influence from God, I used it for my glory, not his. I can't tell you how the thoughts of those I may have led astray hurt my heart till this day.

The point is this: Stop looking at the past. It is behind you for a reason.
God is focused on your present and your future, your past is of no consequence to him. Scripture says the Lord is no respecter of persons. Acts 10:34 That means God doesn't care about your past accolades, titles, positions or influence. He's not impressed by who you were, nor is he intimidated, made afraid by (the list goes on). God simply wants a present relationship with you in the here, now and for eternity. 

Anything God has taken away, he promises to restore many times over. So take comfort in your present, look to your future with hope, and in all things, look to God to direct your steps.Proverbs 3:6

All my love,


  1. Your transparency is beautiful Obi, and you are not alone in your walk with Him, keep pushing and if you ever need someone to talk with feel free to hit me up (I know this is random but spiritually we are kinda going through the same thing) -Daleshia :)

    1. Hey Daleshia, I just saw this comment (I've been so in and out of this blog). Thank you so much for the encouragement. It was a pleasent surprise. I will definitely be using your number :)