Whats been going on these last couple of months: May-July

So I haven’t been writing. I haven’t had the motivation and I’ve been in a rut for lack of a better word. I've also been throwing myself various pity parties and other one woman affairs along the way.

Between April 2015 and July 2015, my life has been an exciting whirlwind of God’s grace, mercy, love and blessings.

I’ll start from the beginning.


I was preparing to graduate. It was supposed to be an exciting time in my life filled with warm memories and deep connections. Not so in my case. I struggled with my feelings of insecurity about my future. I struggled with my less than stellar grades. I struggled with anxiousness about where I was going to live and what I was going to do. I prayed continuously for God to reveal my purpose to me, I asked Him endlessly where I should live and what I should do. It seemed like God remained silent longer than I would have liked. I sought God’s direction about a Job, I literally lived paycheck to paycheck. I needed to pay for a mission’s trip that I had already committed to going on. It seemed to be one thing after the other after the other.

Honestly, April was a season where fasting and prayer were essential in my daily walk, but I prayed less than I would have liked and relied too heavily on the previous day’s bread for nourishment.
Through grace, the lord blessed with all the finances to pay for my missions trips and I began to truly learn that all earthly wealth is from the Lord, and he alone is my source, no one and nothing else.


Official graduate of the University of Central Florida

It was important that I represented a unique aspect of me in my graduation pictures. I choose to showcase my heritage

 I graduated, I made it through April. My friends and family surrounded me and supported me. God instructed me to remain in Orlando, to stay faithful to the church he planted me in and to help their ministry grow. I continued to struggle with the HOW
Yes God I know I’m supposed to stay in Orlando, but HOW is this going to be possible. I had no job, I had no source of income and my parents desperately wanted me to come home and focus on medical school applications.
I even went on a mission’s trip. God moved mightily in the hearts and minds of many people. I saw the beautiful country of Haiti. I spoke out loud the testimony God had grown in my spirit over the past several months. I spoke about the abusive relationship I endured due to my disobedience to God. I spoke to complete strangers and intimate friends about the beauty of the father’s redemption and how he saved a wretch like me from sure death and destruction at the hands of my own lust and selfish ambition.

I still struggled with the lust of my flesh and the need to fill the God-shaped whole in my heart with the affections of man, especially those of men.

God blessed with a job. The way he did it was almost surreal. I didn’t even apply for the position, I received an invitation to apply, and the job was given to me. Albeit it was the job which I had resigned from, but it was a source of income.
Arriving at Haiti with my missions group

Everyone loves a good selfie, with my sisters in christ: Kesi, Janelle and Noreka

We were advised to wear conservative clothing, so I spent most of the field time wearing long dresses  My brother in Christ Eno!

This is lovely, she loved taking photos on my camera so we had a mini photoshoot


 I felt a desire to desire more of God, I had grown lackadaisical in quest for more of God, for his spirit and power, for relationship with him.

I attributed my lack of desire to not attending Sunday service anymore. I also complained about not being able to be as involved with church as much as I would have desired because the job I prayed for required me to work Sunday mornings.

Thus began the groaning process. Why God? Please give me a better job. Lord how can I fulfill your will for my life if I’m broke and can’t even go to church.

I’m sure I did more complaining than praising. But God continued to provide regardless of my murmuring because he is faithful even when my faith is lacking.

The prayer for this season became: LORD, help my unbelief. Help me to trust you even when I can’t see what’s ahead.  Father give me a cheerful heart in this season of my life and let me never forget your goodness.


The Lord began to reveal his destiny for my life. I came to the understanding that I have to be okay with how the Lord chooses to reveal his will for my future, and that may be one step at a time.

I’ve come to the understanding that there are tests that need to be passed, that there’s obedience that needs to occur before I can be given anymore responsibility.

I’ve realized, I need to kill my flesh, literally suffocate it until it dies. This process truly has to be daily, regardless of how I feel. I may never feel like waking up and spending quiet time at the feet of Jesus, but it is necessary, my life depends on this, daily.

God blessed with a Job that far exceeds anything I could have asked for, he continues to rain down his favor in the big and the small.

And when I try to slip away from the grasp of his hand , he shocks me into obedience, convicts me accordingly and I repent whole heatedly because the true desire of my heart is to spend all my days abiding in the house of the Lord, forever and ever.

This really wasn’t an encouragement blog, but it’s a true snapshot of what my life has been like for a long stretch of time. I am continuously  in awe of my heavenly father.  I am so honored to be chosen and deemed worthy of his righteous love.
If I could sum up my experiences in these previous months using one passage, it would be:
Psalms 37:23-24 The Lord directs the steps of the godly.

    He delights in every detail of their lives.
24 Though they stumble, they will never fall,
    for the Lord holds them by the hand.

I’m not perfect, but I continue to serve a perfect God.
My lovely mama. That's my prayer warrior friend

As I grow older I appreciate the time I get to spend with my family. 

All my love,